The Europe Challenge

Every day that Clara comes to the library,
It is the first time that Clara has been in the library   in years.
Delighted to be welcomed in by someone who knows her name –
You must have a good memory! I haven’t been here in years – 
Will I still be a member? 

Every day that Clara comes to the library we answer her questions,
Like it’s the first time that Clara has been in the library   in years.
Some days she is younger than she is –
I’m looking for a little job!
Some days she knows that she no longer lives in her house.
Some days she doesn’t know she lives in a care home – 
Cruelly parallel to where she lived.
Between both lies the library – a safe limbo.
They keep moving me around…
I suppose I’m lucky you are still here.  

Always she chats,
Blithe. Arms behind her back,
Left hand clutching right wrist,
Wireless tether like a watch – 
Keeping an invisible meridian to the care home.  

Some days confused, but seldom upset – 
Often full of girlish whimsy.
Other days carrying an arm she has hurt,
But she can’t remember why. 

Every day that Clara visits the library,
She has a routine – 
And she doesn’t even know it.
Oh! I’ve not been here in years!
Oh, you library staff are so helpful – 
I’ve always said to…someone
That you are, and so cheerful!
I’ve just come over from where I live now – 
I’m still settling in.
Am I still a member of the library? I’ve not been in years. 

Sometimes she catches on as she walks the same route,
Towards the groaning trolley of withdrawn books.
I sometimes buy a book from here, don’t I?
Maybe I have been in recently …
She looks around me, beyond me, for the answer to wash back to her – 
…Maybe not.
And she expels a chuckle and claps her hands.
Anyway, what I’ve come in today for is –
…
I was wondering – 
…
Do you have any history books? 

She has circled the trolley and now will check her pocket. 
I don’t have any money today.
I tell her she can just take one because – 
‘It’s not every day that you come to the library.’
Her round eyes widen,
And she tells me again
–  But for the first time – 
How helpful the library staff are.
She goes out holding her book. 

Sometimes Clara comes back into the library,
Mere minutes after she left.
I haven’t been here in years – 
Will I still be a member? 

I take her to a computer and check for her, showing the screen. 
They keep moving my house  – 
Visibly relieved to see that she is a library member (there’s a bit of luck).
Do you have any books for sale? Any History books?
And we tread the same route around the library again. 

Commenting on the library and the oh so many books – 
I seem to have a book in my hand – did I bring it in?
The town hall clock strikes noon, 
Oh I think they come with food at 12, is it 12?
‘It is – you will be able to enjoy your book after your lunch.’ 
–  Yes, that’s what I came here for. 

I walk her to the door.
‘Do you know where you’re going today?’
She points with her book in hand to the street she used to live on.
I use my arm to show her the way,
She hooks her own around it.
Today Clara needs a chaperone –
Unsure, but allowing her footsteps to remind her.  

We go along a few feet.
‘Can you see that door?’ There?
Her step quickens. Her belly rumbles.
I’ve never had this kind of door-to-door service before.
The library is marvellous. I always say it.
Yes, you do. 

A member of her team meets us at the crossing.
We share a nod.
He tells her her lunch is served.
Oh, aren’t I so lucky?! 

It’s cruel, but it also seems a correct word.
How lucky that every good day is your first day in a library?
How lucky to know somewhere in your changing memories
That the library is safe?
That the library can answer your questions?
Clara can’t remember the last time she was there, but
How lucky is she – are we – that her feet carry her to the library? 

I watch them walk into the Home.
Hugging myself to the cold, I wonder when she’ll be back.
I hope she will be back. 

Every day Clara comes to the library,
It is the first time   in years.
And every time Clara comes to the library,
She changes library lives.
And she doesn’t even know it. 

_________________________________________________________________________________________

About the Author

Louise Scollay (b. 1978) is one of six winners of the How a Library Changed My Life writing competition, run in 2024 by the European Cultural Foundation. She is a Senior Library Assistant at the Shetland Library, and has been happily ensconced in the world of books, archives, and libraries for over 20 years. Living in the remote Scottish island of Shetland, Louise is heavily inspired by nature and the seasons. Whilst writing regularly for pleasure, she has only felt brave enough to enter one competition (this one!).